Make your viewers go Huh?
Why is it that boring and meaningless films seem to attract awards for ‘outstanding arty-fartiness’ while those that do well is almost immediately relegated to the ‘commercial’ domain?
It seems the art of making an award winning film is to make it as meaningless, pointless or boring as possible.
Unsurprisingly, I just watched an award winning film over the weekend. With all the ‘awards’ listed on the dvd cover, I thought it would be a great way to spend the night. Lo-and behold – it was one of the most boring films ever to grace my tv screen. At the end of it, I found myself asking if I could have placed a chair out my front yard and watched the neighbours and get an equally good picture. The answer, was yes.
Sad, but it forces me to think of the great films that never gained artistic recognition simply for being ‘commercially successful’. Artistic integrity seem to also mean ‘difficult to comprehend’. See, the more time you take to figure out a film, the more artistic it is. And if you never figure it out… well, that just means it’s extremely artistic!
Here’s a guide for making films that attract artistic recognition:
1) Make your viewers go “Huh?”
That’s right, it doesn’t matter if the viewers are asking why this actor was casted and that wasn’t or why the main character suddenly chose to walk the other path instead of the one everyone has been expecting him to walk. As long as audiences go “Huh?”, you’re guaranteed a winner in your hands. The fact that you managed to make your audience think automatically puts you above the rest of the commercially predictable, fun and successful films. It is the ultimate proof of artistic integrity.
2) Use split time
If you play with the past, present and future using artistic film shots including colour schemes, Gaussian or motion blur and flashback, you’re on your way to becoming unconventional. We all know that conventional films follow a strict timeline. Look at ‘Run Lola, Run’ (which I absolutely LOVED) for an example of creativity. If we break all rules of timeline, we’re on our way toward artistic integrity.
3) Have ugly actors/actresses
We all know good looking film stars uglify themselves when it comes to ‘art films’. This enables them to not be overshadowed by their startling good looks and instead be taken seriously by their acting talent. If you can convince a generally attractive actor/actress to uglify him/herself for the film, it’s a shoo-in for serious award consideration.
4) A serious storyline based in history
Films that don’t do well include those that have zany pirates, musicals, jokes and possibly car chase scene. To win an award, be sure that jokes are kept to a bare minimum – this helps let the audience know hat they are watching a respected product of art. Anything based in history of with historical costumes automatically qualifies it as something to be taken seriously.
5) Cut down on entertainment factor – throw in the Da Vinci Code
If the film was entertaining, it’s probably because it sold its soul to commercialism, and is therefore not artistic. In fact, artistic films are usually inspired from the boring hum-drums of life and should therefore mirror it. Anything remotely exciting simply proves the director’s inability to stay focused on the tragedies of life.
Artistic recognition means having the courage to show that mixing a cup of coffee comes with many dilemmas such as how he amount of sugar you put in represents the level of life’s sweetness you’ve experienced. The number of times you circle the cup with your spoon represent the number of lovers you’ve had in your life. And if you can represent the lead actor’s feelings with the steam emitted from the boiling kettle – congratulations! You’ve stepped on the podium of artistic demonstrator!
And there you have it! A formula for winning award and recognition in the artistic category!
