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Filmsi - A not so serious look at films and film reviews

 
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Filmsi - May 2008

Possible books into film

I am a total book worm, and I always imagine some of my favourite films into books. SOme are not entirely possible but it is always fun to speculate.


The secret life of a shopaholic
This fun and albeit kind of superficial series of books could be the next Bridget Jones if marketed properly. The self deprecating humour along with the stumbling heroine would b e a great fit for film. The story relates to a perky Londoner addicted to shopping who finds the love of her life, although with a lot of stumbling along the way.
Possible actresses for the part : Anne Hathaway , Kate Beckinsale


The mammoth hunters and
Ah the Barbie doll cavewoman and her love for Jondalar. These two books could easily be smooshed into one big movie as some of the talking bits drag on for a bit, and would make a great climax.
Possible actresses : That girl from Planet of the Apes she even has the costume

She's Come UNdone
By Wally Lamb
One of the most poignant books I ever read, the book tells the tale of a girl who is raped, and subsquently is abandoned by her father. A couple years later she gains a lot of weight and unravels in college to become obsessed with her college roomate's boyfriend. It is not a light book but in the right hands this could be a film with oscar potential at least for the female lead. Then again, great books like White ORchid with similar motifs didn't really transfer will in film.
Possible actresses : Not sure , it's a tough role to play and has to be someone who isn't rail thin.
Deception Point
Dan Brown
Probably in the works already as it is such a famous author this book takes a more Micheal Crichtonish turn with science and politics colliding as opposed to religion.
The actors could be anyone, but the scientists have to have some kind of adorkable quality to them.


Angels and Demons
Dan Brown
Please no Tom Hanks, it ruined the movie for me. However I think this book is far superior to the Da Vinci Code, and perhaps more controversial

Olivia Joules and the overactive imagination
From Helen Fielding, who brought the Diary of Bridget Jones, this book is a tongue in cheek account of a reporter who gets caught up in a spy investigation which everyone thinks is a product of her overactive imagination. Quite funny, but in the film i would leave out the Osama Bin Laden bits.
Possible actresses : Personally i think it would have to be a british actress who can handle comedy or someone like Drew Barrymore who is quirky enough for a role like this to work.

The Last Unicorn
I mentioned this one before but with the amount of fantasy films out there and the improvement of CGI this could be a great film ( it was originally a book)
Possible actrseses : A young Cate Blanchett, Gwenyth Paltrow or someone who looks sort of willowy and fairy like.
Portraits in Sepia
Isabel Allende
If they cast real Hispanic actors this could be a great story wild west meets chilean victorian age, filled with surprises, gun smoke and chinese healers


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Can Hollywood go Bollywood?

Bollywood, the world of dance and over the top humour is raking in billions in the box office. With a large Indian population both in the United States and England can Hollywood go Bollywood?
THere has been some attempts at doing this with limited success. The question remains can we really handle this?

Bride and Prejudice

A cute adaptiation of pride and prejudice, the songs however were a bit grating on the nerves. There has been numerous attempts to export Aishwarya Rai to Hollywood (click here to see my take on her american role in Mistress of Spices) but it was received with lukewarm enthusiasm. Perhaps the interpretation was too literal for modren audiences


Love guru

While not exactly a " Bollywood" film, Mike Myers might hold the key to a renewed interest in Bollywood. BEcause of his bankability this film will most likely do well. Hopefully it won't be a total parody and celebrate some of the elements of INdian culture

Bend it LIke Beckham
One of the first films which has transfer quality this was a great film which spawned Keira Knightley's future success. Perhaps having an " english" version makes it more viewable to audiences.


The best Bollywood influenced films are the ones which combine the best of both worlds and can appeal to all audiences. The Bollywood world is one completely different and at time opposed to the Hollywood one, thye important thing is to find a balance between both worlds without one overpoewring the other or falling into stereotypes. Hopefully this is just a peek of what is to come

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The Joy of Fantasy

Fantasy films

Maybe I am feeling downright nostalgic, but I always loved fantasy films. And yes, the special effects do have a certain cheesiness to them now but you go to love a flying white dragon and a random non denominational Indian. These stories didn’t rely on groovy special effects, they had heart and character . Sure there were a few duds, but these films gave us a glimpse of brilliance that perhaps Harry Potter and lord of the Rings have given us. ( Click here to see my take on the Deathly Hallows film and what's in store for the franchise)

Neverending Story

The one film that actually got me proud to be a book worm ( although I was a bit annoyed by the fact that I wasn’t the one who got to be part of never land)Who could forget the flying dragon? The weird princess “ Bastian, Please Bastian…”
And that punk Atreyu, oh yeah and the rock person. And what is more scary than A film whose main villain is a vast plane of nothingness? Who can combat THAT?
I still had a hard time believing that everyone just revived in the end though.

The Last Unicorn

Yes this was a cartoon, but seriously should be made into a film. The only film I could truly compare this to is perhaps “ Everlasting” with Claire Danes. A beautiful unicorn is immortal, and comes to realize she is the last of her kind. A series of adventures ensues and a magician accidentally makes her human , which serves as a good disguise to enter into the evil greedy king’s lair who with the help of a Red Bull ( yes Red Bull) forces the unicorns to stay imprisoned into sea. The unicorn, though, becomes entangled with the prince who falls in love with her. This makes her become more and more human and cause her to forget who she really is. It is a very bittersweet story because although she saves the unicorns she is never truly human ever again.



Dark Crystal
Perhaps one of the most incredible puppet movies that Jim Henson made, unfortunately was way ahead of it’s time. The plot itself is really complicated and involves dual nature of the soul and the material but basically there was once a crystal which broke in two, and there are these beings who became split, one were good the other bad.
HMmmm hmmmm hmmm, the film opens with an ailing " evil" creature and queen, as well as an ailing" good"master. The evil queen is dying and the remaining creatures want the throne and the power of the dark crystal. The master has a boy from an extinguising race and has a special destiny.The boy, who is under the master’s care is told to find the crystal and make it whole again.
And yes the crystal is used to drain human souls and make them slaves. Really weird but great scenes. Good music and scenery too.
Dark Crystal

dark crystal



Legend
Young [B] Tom Cruise in a skirt? Seriously. Two young lovers play in meadow and decide to touch an immortal unicorn, which leaves it tainted and to become exposed. One of the unicorns tragically dies and leaves the world in half darkness, the second one is imprisioned along with the girl. Both become seduced by darkness and this devil guy. Great makeup, and some of the scenes look a little like Mordor.


Splash

Although technically not considered a “ fantasy” film, this film intelligently uses real life motifs to incorporate the fantastical element into the real world. However the real story is the pure love between a young mermaid and a kind of goofy guy played by Tom Hanks.

These are just some examples, tragically in the nineties these fantasy films disappeared. Thanks to Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and other greats these fantasy genres live on and will be a source of nostalgia for future generations leaving the door wide open for countless new ways to tell the story. ( And the advantage of this genre is that there really is no rules or limits ...)


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When parodies were good...

Ah the good old days when parodies was a good word. When parodies was actually a word that was celebrated and not cringed upon. Somehow, of course that changed with the putrid sewers of parodies that Hollywood seems to churn out. Click to read my take on parody " sewer" comedies
However, let us revel in those good times which were parodies that spawned catchphrases, t shirt and fandom in their own right.

The Schwartz :
Spaceballs

Ah yes, who could forget the weird song " Dink Dink Da Dink Dink Dink Dink Dink", which were the spaceballs version of ewoks. And those cooky spaceball suits with the circular buttocks? Classic. And who could forget " I am half dog, half man, I'm a mog, I'm my own best friend"But more than that, Spaceballs parodied the simplistic and fanatic nature of Star Wars and it's commercialization. Sheer brillance. May the schwartz be with you.



Airplane!
The mother of all parodies, literally. This parody comedy was so brillant in delivering lines that it remains timeless despite now being more than thirty years old.

Young Frankenstein

Actually a really intelligent look of how ridiculously far away from the original Frankenstein from Mary Shelley's vision has become thanks to Hollywood's recklessness, it is also incredibly funny ( who can forget the sexually deviant Frankenstein and his bride?)



Robin Hood : Men in Tights
A direct parody to the incredibly insipid Kevin Costner film, this movie was also a salute to the older versions of Robin Hood. Not quite as good as some of those listed above but still worth mentioning.


Here are a couple of modern parodies which are not so obvious :

Shrek

Shrek basically gives a twist to the fairy tale of yore : Who says the ogre can't be beautiful? Why does the maiden have to be useless and helpless? Who says the prince is charming and good looking? Suck it Disney!

Austin Powers

It's worth mentioning that Austin powers bears more resemblance to old Bond movies than most of the modern ones, and perhaps is more of a salute to these than a real " parody" , but if you watch these films back to back you will be surprised how similar they really are.

Hopefully, parodies will go back to these classics which rendered tribute as well as giving great social commentary. Instead of the stupidity we have been subjected to in the last couple of years
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Random WTF? Moment in film

A friend of mine loves to say " random! " a lot to refer to things that seem out of context. And here a couple " random" moments.
There are tons of utterly bizzarre films out there, which are to some degree pointless. Here are a couple of WTF??!


Raining frogs in Magnolia

Weird scene, where frogs start flying from the sky , no one really knows why and I still can't figure out what the point was in the film. They all proceed to sing the same random song. ( which is probably to depict parallel loneliness???)

American Psycho

Our main character goes into random rants about film while he eerily preps to hack away his associate, just because he doesn't like his taste in music.

Seven
Brad Pitt, in a fit of rage becomes the seventh sin, by killing the serial muderder who has murdered his wife.

Alien
They're eating at a diner and an alien pops out? Duddde sickest.Thing. Ever.

Exorcist
That random spider walk has to be the creepiest thing , up until of course the creepy contortionist stuff on the grudge


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Where is harry potter headed in the next films?

Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and company...the question is are they headed for an E True Hollywood Story after Harry Potter or are they going to go on to stardom?
The transition from child actor to star is never easy, and people can be quite ruthless when actors lose their cuteness. Let's face it , most of these young things were never that attractive in the first place.
The problem of being pegged down with eight sequential films about the same subject is that these poor young things have no time to hone their skills


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